


Besties

by HinaSaku



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Best Friends, Developing Friendships, Epic Friendship, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Forced Bonding, Friendship, Humor, Male Friendship, Past Relationship(s), Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Rivalry, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 15:47:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11809155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HinaSaku/pseuds/HinaSaku
Summary: Angered that Goku keeps rubbing in the fact that he has a best friend, Vegeta sets off to show the man what's up by getting his own best friend and proving he could be a much better best friend than Goku can to Krillin. It's not going to be very easy thanks to Vegeta's own insecurities and problems and poor Raditz and Nappa are being dragged into it.





	1. Chapter 1

"Take this, Kakarot!" yelled Vegeta as he began punching at his rival as they sparred with each other. Goku was dodging the punches with ease much to the annoyance of the older man. The two of them had been going at it for around 20 minutes and Vegeta was yet to land a punch on the man. Goku had gotten in a few punches and was continuing to do so after dodging when both men heard a loud ring tone. Goku held up a hand and reached into his pocket. To his shock, the man had a cellphone. Since when did Kakarott of all people have a cellphone?

"What's up?" said Goku. He burst out laughing after listening to whoever was on the other end of the phone. "No way! Get outta town! She what? No way! NO. WAY. What did...mm-hm. Yeah. WHAT?! That's crazy!"

"Can you speed this up?" Vegeta called over to Goku as he crossed his arms and impatiently tapped his foot on the ground. "I don't have all day!"

He ignored his rival and was still on the cell phone. He was laughing on the cell phone as he talk to who ever. It couldn't be Chichi. Every time he saw her, she seemed to be in a bad mood. Then again maybe it had something to do with him or he was just constantly catching her on bad days. Goku continued to talk on the phone for 10 more minutes before Vegeta had no more patience with the man and snatched it phone.

"Hey!" The prince hung up the phone. "What'd you do that for?"

"We're supposed to be sparring!"

"We've been sparring for a few hours, Vegeta," He rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you can let me take a break to talk to my best friend. Surely you understand. Wait a minute, do you even a best friend? I bet it's Bulma, isn't it? No wait, Bulma's best friends with Chichi. Is it Future Trunks? No wait that doesn't quite count since he's your son. I bet it's Tien! You guys would get along really well. No he has one already. Yamcha? No...there's Puar there. What about...?"

"Don't have one, don't need one," He got into a fighting stance. "Now come on, you third class punk!"

"Wait a minute!" Goku gasped as he looked at the prince in surprise. "You don't have a best friend? At all?"

"No, I don't..."

"No wonder you're always so grouchy!" He put an arm around the shorter man's shoulder. "You don't have a best friend to tell all your secrets, to talk with about private stuff, and a bunch of other stuff! Do you even have a friend?"

"Hell no!"

"You really need to get some," Then he grinned at the man. "I know! We can be friends!"

"I'd rather eat your wife's nasty cooking!"

"Don't talk about my wife's cooking! She's a great cook...well expect when she's experimenting with food," said Goku genuinely insulted. "At least my wife's cooking is made by my wife! Bulma's cooking smells like sweaty balls and cheese! Mrs. Briefs is the one that cooks for you, not Mrs. Underwear!"

"Don't talk about out people's wives when your wife is a witch!"

"Chichi may can get a little mean, but at least the two of us don't fight 24/7 and we see each other majority of the day if nothing's going on. I'm not the one locking myself in a gravity room probably crying like a little baby because I'm a friendless loser and won't be able to beat Goku because he's awesome!"

"You...! You...! You third class idiot!"

"I may be a third class on Planet Vegeta, but I'm far more elite than you!" Goku shouted. "And there's a reason none of us call you a prince, you short thug! That's what we should start calling you, that or Sir Pointy Head."

"WHAT!?" He screeched.

"I'm outta here," Goku took off. "Have fun playing by yourself, Prince Thug."

"GET BACK HERE, KAKAROTT, YOU...YOU..." He tried thinking of a good comeback but could think of nothing. Even if he could, the man was gone. He wasn't going to chase him down just to insult him. He'd find him later.

What Goku said to him pissed him off though nothing like that had happened before. Even when he was a kid, the prince didn't have friends. He was much too busy training and even when he wasn't, he sometimes saw another child his age and even then they didn't get along. They bored him as soon as they opened up their mouths and the longer they stayed, the more annoyed he grew. After Planet Vegeta had blown up, he rarely ever saw another kid his age. The only person around his age was Raditz and he was older than him by a few years. Like he would be friends with such a weak punk or a bald one in Nappa who was mainly just an ass kisser and his guardian.

"I don't need a best friend or any friend for that matter," mumbled the prince as he headed back home. "Stupid, Kakarott. Who does he think he is anyways? Calling me a loser. He's the loser with his stupid ugly sons with their stupid ugly haircuts. Stupid monkey brained moron!"

Vegeta continued to mumble all the way home and even then continued to mumble even as his son called out to him. "Hey father. Is Goku..."

"No that piece of crap isn't with me! He's off with his weak best friend!" said Vegeta. "I don't even know why he does that when he could be getting stronger."

"Oh so he's at the Kame House. I need to talk to him," Trunk was about to leave when his dad stopped him. "Huh?"

"Wait, boy. Who is Kakarott's best friend anyways?"

"It's Krillin," He gave his father a weird look.

"Ha!" Vegeta burst out laughing. "So he's friends with that bald loser! Ahahahaa! No wonder they're best friends. The idiot likes looking after weaklings and he's gotten attached to him. And ol' baldy worships him! How pathetic! AHAHAHAHAA!"

"Dad, are you stupid?" Vegeta stopped mid-laugh. "That's not what kind of friendship Goku and Krillin have. As a matter of fact, that's not even a friendship. You're just upset that you haven't anyone close to you like that."

"I am not," said Vegeta. "I don't need a so called friend to weigh me down!"

"Being friends can help you out a lot," said Trunks. "As a matter, that's how Goku turned into a super saiyan. That's how I turned into a super saiyan as a matter of fact."

"I didn't need a dumb friend to turn into a super saiyan," he said proudly. "So it was letting your emotions get the better of you. What a couple of punks!"

"I don't care if having friends makes me weak," Trunk frowned at his father, thinking of the first time he turned into a super saiyan. "At least I have them unlike you."

"What do you know!" Vegeta stormed off. The nerve that moron had to say that to his own father! He stormed off, nearly knocking over his wife.

"Watch where you're going!" She yelled at him.

"How about  _you_  watch where  _you're_  going!" Vegeta kept going even while Bulma yelled back at him. He didn't need a friend, darn it! Screw Kakarot and Trunks! "One's an low class idiot and the other's a mutt! They don't know anything!"

As he laying on the bed, he decided to watch watch TV. To his dismay, all he saw were shows depicting people being the best of friends or practically bragging about how great friends they had or how happy they were that they were friends. It seemed to be happening on every television channel. It was like someone had heard his argument with his son and were teasing him. It was getting on his nerves. Even a freakin' wrestling show had a segment where two rivals, who teamed up, burst into song about how their rivalry was over and now they were going to build a new friendship since they made a great team up. Since when did wrestling become a fighting musical? He flipped through the channels until he got to a horror movie. Finally, something that didn't have a bit of friendship that would be rubbed into her face. Then it happened. The woman was running behind stage and ended up on stage. She ended up running into one of the microphone stands on the stage. Just when the killer was about to kill the young woman, she began singing "Why Can't We Be Friends" by War. Vegeta thought this was one of the dumbest ways to keep someone from killing someone, but it was amusing how she seemed to think it would work. The masked killer stopped and then, to Vegeta's surprise, the man began dancing and even singing, revealing that he had a pretty good voice.

"You have got to be kidding me!" He rolled his eyes at the pair. "That wouldn't work!"

_The pair then began singing a few more songs together about friendship, the possibility of becoming friends, and the amazing benefits that came with being friends before ending on "We're all in this today" from that cheesy high school musical when the killer was suddenly shot in the chest, barely fazing the man. The camera turned to reveal a police officer who turned out to be the girl's father. The masked man turned quickly to the woman beside him and punched her before bring shot again. He fell over and the girl even started to crawl away when he was grabbed her leg._

_"Why can't we be friends, huh?" He yelled. "This why you c***!"_

_"No, I really wanted to..."_

Then Bulma came into the room to tell Vegeta that Goku was downstairs. What did that clown want now? Did he come back to apologize for what he said earlier? Vegeta went downstairs and found Goku wearing the stupidest t-shirt he had ever seen before. He was wearing a dark green t-shirt with the words "World's Best Team" with a picture of Krillin and Goku's heads in chibi form. Upon looking a bit closer, there was a chibi Vegeta grinning back at him.

"What do you want?"

"I came to apologize for what I said earlier," said Goku rubbing the back of his head. "I know it had to hurt you since you lost your's a long time ago, but..."

"Hold up. Lost what now?"

"Your best friend. What was his name? Nappa?"

Vegeta burst out laughing. "That bald idiot? No way was that idiot my friend. There's a reason I killed him. He was a weak idiot that needed to be dealt with. I told you Kakarot, I don't have friends and I don't need any. People and emotions just weigh you down."

"Man, you're heartless," He said shaking his head. "Did you even care about your own dad?"

"He was a weakling too!"

"Wow. You know I was going to ask you to go bowling with Krillin and I but forget it know. I don't want your negative vibes ruining our game. Have to run, Sir Pointy Head. "

"GOOD RIDDANCE! DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT, SIR EATS-A-LOT!" He yelled after them.

"Don't you eat a lot as well?" asked Trunks as he carried his baby self into the living room.

"QUIET ORPHAN!" He yelled back at him as he went upstairs.

"But technically I have them since I'm in this time period and you're the one..."

"Shut up!" He slammed the room door.


	2. Chapter 2

Vegeta was in the middle of reliving his glory days in his dreams when he heard the annoying sound of his cell phone. Why did Bulma buy him the noisy device anyways? Oh yeah to annoy him with calls about picking up items for her and the little brat. He grabbed his cell phone and couldn't help but to notice the time. It was 4 in the morning! Who the heck needed something at four in the freakin' morning? He didn't recognize the number but he answered anyways.

"Do you wanna die today?" He threatened. The person on the other end snorted.

 _"Like **you**  could ever kill  **me** ," _It was Goku on the other end. How did that moron get his number? He figured Bulma had something to do with it.

"What do you want? You're just calling to insult me?"

"It wasn't an insult. It was the truth."

"Just say what you have to say and get off my phone!" He snapped. "I was having a great dream until you called."

 _"What were you dreamin' about?"_  asked Goku.

"Blasting you to pieces."

"No wonder you're so grouchy. You were dreaming about something that could never happen." Vegeta could have sworn he heard muffled laughter in the background. "Anyways, I called to tell you that Krillin and I had a sleep over."

"A what?"

"A sleepover," He repeated. "You where you and your friend stay at one of your houses and do all kinds of fun stuff together, stay up late, watch movies, and...oh wait a minute. You wouldn't know because you don't have a best friend. Probably because you're so mean and stuck up, Sir Pointy Head."

"You little piece of garbage! Who would want to do any of that kiddy stuff anyways?"

 _"People with **friends**_. _"_

"Ha!" He laughed. "All the more reasons not to stoop down to having 'em."

_"You're just mad you're lonely."_

"I'd rather be lonely than act like a child!"

" _Acting your shoe size can be fun_ ," said Goku. " _It helps with the stress_."

"What kind of stress could you have?" As carefree as Goku was, he didn't think stress was an issue for him.

"Easy. Having to constantly saving your life from being beaten to death!"

"I'LL SHOW YOU A BEATING..."

"What the heck is your problem, Vegeta?!" yelled Bulma taking off her sleeping mask. "It's 4:15 in the morning and you're yelling on the freakin' phone like a moron! If you wanna yell on the phone with whoever, fine, but don't do it in the bedroom where I'm trying to sleep! Go in the Gravity room or outside. I don't care!"

"Quiet, woman!" He yelled back at her.

"Don't talk to Bulma like that, Sir Pointy Head!"

"I'll show you a pointy head, Kakarot!" He hung up the phone and hopped out of bed. He put on his clothes and headed on over to the Son Household. Much to his surprise, the house and surrounding trees were covered from top to bottom with toilet paper. What a waste of toilet paper. He wondered who had done such a thing. He doubted it was Goku as what would he get out of putting toilet paper on his own home?

He banged on the front door and Gohan soon showed up rubbing his eyes. "Oh hey Vegeta. What's up?"

"Where's your stupid father at?"

"I dunno. He took off with Krillin last night and...whoa! What happened to the yard!" Gohan had woken up enough to see that he was looking at a yard covered in toilet paper. They lived way out in the boonies and it didn't look this when he went to bed. Had some hooligan come up here and did this? It seemed pretty silly to the young boy someone would get up in the middle up the night to cover their yard in toilet paper.

"How should I know?" He shrugged. "You know I didn't do it like some nut. It was like this when I came."

"Mom's going to be so mad," He then pointed over to Goku's grandfather's old home. "I recommend heading over to Master Roshi's place. He might be there if he isn't..."

He was interrupted by a water balloon hitting him in the face. Vegeta manged to dodge three other balloons and attempted to catch the 4th one which burst. He could hear laughter coming from the woods. "Kakarot!"

"I can't believe you actually tried to catch that!" laughed Goku as he came from behind a tree. He was lightly tossing up and down a green water balloon in one hand while his other hand was on his hip. "You're such a Prince Moron."

"Kakarot, you're just asking for a..." He received a balloon to the face and it wasn't from Goku. It was Krillin who threw the balloon while he was in a tree. After wiping the water from his face, he glared up at the giggling man and threw a ki blast at him. Krillin dodged the blast and went down beside Goku. The two high fived and took off running. Vegeta took off after them and didn't get too far when a bag on flour tore and spilled all over him.

"Do the two of you want to die!?" He screamed at them as they pointed at him and laughed. "I'll kill you both!"

"Release the feathers!" Goku ignored him as he raised a fist into the air. Sure enough it began to rain down flowers and feathers. "Uh thanks but why the flowers?"

"Say cheese~" Yamcha came along and began snapping the pictures of the man as he struggled to take off the flowers and feathers that were sticking to him. Someone had coated them with a sticky substance.

"Come here!" He grabbed Yamcha by the throat and snatched the camera. He squeezed the camera hard to crush it within seconds. "Now, would you prefer your bones to be broken or your lungs on the outside of your body?"

A loud flash stopped him from punching Yamcha in the face. It was from Goku and Krillin taking pictures of him. He tossed aside the ex-bandit and made for the cameras. Krillin had gotten his taken and the prince hit him over the head with the camera. Goku tossed Yamcha his camera and he then tackled Vegeta to prevent him from punching his best friend. After Yamcha and Krillin took off running, Puar came out and egged Vegeta before flying off behind her friends. When the saiyan got off of the prince, he tossed a roll of tissue at him.

"You son of lower class wretch!" He roared as he desperately tried getting the flour off of him. "Curses! This tissue is so rough! The poor fools can't afford better tissue? Bah it's better than nothing."

Just as he rubbed off the flour off of his face, he felt someone hit him over the head with a frying pan. He turned to see the furious wife of his rival welding a frying pan. Oh no she didn't hit him over the head with a frying pan! She may hit her husband over the head with a pan, but he wasn't going to get away with hitting him as well!

"What the heck is wrong with you?!"

"What the heck is wrong with  ** _you_**!?" She yelled in his face without fear. "You TPed my home, you son of a gun!"

"What?!" Chichi then showed him footage of the prince tossing tissue all over her house and the trees. "I didn't...!"

"Yes you did! It is you! It even has the same outfit that you always wear!"

It then hit him. "It was that stupid shapeshifting cat!"

"Like Puar would do that and Oolong sucks at shapeshifting. I should know. He did it as Goku and it looked horrible. Now get off my property and I'm calling Bulma about this!"

"Well call Kakarot about this!" He slapped her across the face and took off for home. When he got his hands on those idiots, they wouldn't know what hit them!"


	3. Chapter 3

When Vegeta finally came across the saiyan, he was in the living room giggling with his little pals over their prank. They were looking over the photos from their little prank and laughing. None of them would be laughing for too long. He was grateful the idiots had left the window with a small opening for his little revenge plan. He grabbed the water hose, bent it to keep the water in, turned it until it couldn't turn anymore, and quickly slipped it into window. He made sure to aim it directly at Goku. The water got all over the 4 of them and Roshi's furniture as well. All the while he sprayed them down, he laughed like a maniac.

"How do you like them apples, fools?" He cackled. "You wanna play with fire, huh? Well allow me to help you put out the flames!"

"That doesn't make any sense!" yelled Yamcha who had managed to move behind the couch and get away from the cold water.

Vegeta tossed down the hose and climbed into the house. Everyone took off running and Vegeta began throwing ki blasts. Those bastards were going to get it! Goku couldn't save all of his little precious friends. Who should be the first one to go after? How about that bald idiot? Then something stopped him. It was something Trunks said about him. Krillin was the reason why Goku was a super saiyan. If he went after the former monk, would it cause Goku to turn into something beyond a super saiyan? At the risk of it being so, he went after Yamcha instead. He was hiding underneath the bed with his toes sticking out. Really? That was the oldest hiding place in the book! Even he hid under the bed as a child. He entered the bedroom, locked the door after closing it, and then proceeded to drag the man from underneath the bed.

"GOTCHA, PUNK!" He yelled as he dragged him from underneath the bed. "You wanna be brave and mess with me, huh? You little weakling! How dare you! You're just using Kakarot as a cover up to not get your butt beaten to a pulp! I may not get the chance to beat the stuffing out of you, but I do get to beat you for a few seconds and oh boy will those be the most painful seconds of your life!"

"W-wait!" Yamcha held up his hands in surrender as Vegeta drew back a fist as he held onto the scuff of his shirt. "Do you really want to hurt me with Goku in the house?"

"I'll deal with the fool later!" Just as he was about to really punch Vegeta, he was hit over the head with a broomstick. He turned to see an angry looking Puar holding it.

"Leave my Yamcha alone!" she then went for his face and began scratching his face. The baseball player thanked his best friend before he took off running. Once the prince took her off his face and threw her on the bed.

"Stupid cat!" He blasted at her but missed thanks Puar's ability to fly. She didn't even take the time to look back at the damage Vegeta had done. She was too afraid for her own life at the moment to be concerned about a stupid bed.

"Help!" She cried out. "He's trying to kill me!"

"What?" came Yamcha's voice from downstairs. "Leave Puar alone, you crazy fool!"

"Hiyah!" Vegeta received a foot the face courtsy of Yamcha. Before he could land another one, Puar was back for seconds and then took off with her friend.

"You little...!" Vegeta went into the kitchen, where the two had run, and came across. Roshi watching a small tv with some women working out. Since the old pervert was in the house, he would have thought the fool would come running to see what the fuss was about. However he seemed to be too distracted by Belle Campbell, the yoga instructor, and her tight fitting clothes. She smiled at the audience as she encouraged them to reach up for the sky.

"Oh yeah, I'll reach alright!" grinned the geezer as he closer to the television. Vegeta rolled his eyes at the older man and had began to leave when he spotted someone's butt poking from underneath the table. He couldn't tell who it was since both Goku and Krillin wore orange gis and Yamcha was wearing red sweat pants. He wondered what he should do. Should he blast them in the behind or deliver a swift kick? Yeah a kick sounded nice. He let his foot go back as far as it could and sent it colliding into the person's unsuspecting behind. They went crashing into the cabinet and threw the house.

"That'll teach you to mess with me!" Then he realized that instead of the sound of pain, he heard laughter coming from behind. It was Goku and Krillin. But then who was that? Upon inspection he found that it was a dummy.

"What the...? Kakarot!"

"Gotcha!" Goku giggled. Vegeta came right, grabbed the collar of his shirt, and glared at him.

"What's your deal, fool?" He demanded as the younger saiyan just grinned that stupid smile of his.

"It was just a prank, Vegeta!"

"A prank? Is that some sort of death wish?"

"No!" He then looked down at his best friend. "You'll have to excuse him of his ignorance."

"I'll show you ignorance, Kakarot!" He shoved him. "Now what is this prank nonsense?"

"A prank is when you pull a trick on people for fun!" He explained. "Even if you don't have any friends, surely you've played a prank on someone."

Vegeta had played pranks before especially when it came to that bald fool Nappa. He nearly chuckled at the memory. Nappa had never seen that axe coming. He suddenly noticed Goku smiling even wider than before and it was only then he realized he was smiling as well while thinking about the prank he pulled on Nappa. He quickly wiped it off of his face though Goku was still going to comment on it.

"I knew it!" He smiled. "You have! It's even better when you have friends to help you."

He ignored him. "I should kick your butt for that stunt you pulled because it sure as heck wasn't funny!"

"Yeah...we did get carried away," He rubbed the back of his head. "But at least you got us back."

"Ha! If you call that revenge, then maybe you should come up with a better word!" said Vegeta. "I'll get you back in a different way."

"Oh really?"

"Yes and it sure will be sweet." He smirked.

"Whatever you say."

"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY KITCHEN!" Oh so now the old fart noticed the damaged done to his home. The show must have went off.

"I just remembered that I have something to do," Before Goku could say anything, Vegeta left out of the house. He could hear the old man yelling and stuck around just to hear it.

"...and lead him here?!" screeched the old man. "Are you idiots out of your mind?!"

"We can't help he can't take a joke," said Yamcha. Roshi glared at him which in turn wiped the sheepish smile off his face.

"This is Vegeta we're talking about here!" He yelled. How thick were these dummies to think it would be a good idea to prank the same person who threatened the Earth before, blew up his own partner, and did whatever the heck he pleased? Even if Vegeta was no longer a threat, that didn't mean the prince didn't have a temper. Now thanks to their "prank", his living room was wet, his furniture was ruined, and there was a huge hole in the side of the house! "You all are gonna fix up my house and replace the things that broke thanks to your "prank" on Vegeta!"

"It was just a prank!" piped up Oolong. Where did he come from? "Besides, Vegeta tore up your stuff! Make him pay for it!"

"I'll show you a prank, Porky Pig and pals!"

Vegeta just shook his head and headed back over to the Briefs mansion. Bulma was still fast asleep so he slipped in beside her and went to sleep. The next morning, he heard Trunks' voice calling to him from outside the bedroom to come and eat breakfast. Rubbing his eyes, he stretched for a moment before slipping on his clothes. Just as he was about to dive into his pancakes, his wife slammed down a piece of paper with a bunch of numbers on it. Upon closer inspection, he saw it was a bill.

"What are you handing me a bill for?" He questioned as Bulma put their son in his high chair. "You're supposed to be the one who pays it."

"It's a list of damages and the prices to fix said damages," She told him as she placed opened up a jar of baby food. "Roshi told me how you tore up his place this morning."

"Blame it on Kakarot, that bald friend of his, that weakling of an ex-boyfriend of yours, and his stupid cat!"

"I don't care if Frieza played a prank on you!" She yelled back at him. "You don't go destroying people's homes just because someone pranked you!"

"I'll do whatever I darn well please!" Just as the prince was about to stick a fork into his pancakes, Bulma snatched his plate from in front of him. "Hey! I was about to eat that!"

"Since you want to do as you please, you can get a job and pay for the damages to the Kame House!" She piled the pancakes that were on Vegeta's plate onto her's and Trunks's. "

"I'm not doing a darn thing!"

"Then you can expect the Gravity Room to stay broken when it breaks!" She said as she started feeding their son while the future version of their son dug into his breakfast.

"You'll fix that room if I tell you to!"

"Who do you think you are?"

"Someone you should be listening to!"

"I'm not one of your subjects, your majesty!" She stood up and slammed her hands on the table. "I don't have to listen to a has been!"

"Whatever!" He got up from the table and stormed off. He'd get his own grub. After all he hadn't needed Bulma before. He had caught his own food back before he lived on earth. Sure he didn't cook it, but food was food. He headed over to the forest to catch food when he saw Goku flying towards him. What did this fool want?

"Hey, Vegeta," Goku wasn't all smiley today much to Vegeta's relief. He wasn't in the mood to hear more about Goku's friends or how they pranked him. Judging by the serious expression on his face, he wondered what was going on. Was it a new enemy? Normally he wouldn't mind a new challenge but at the moment they already had their hands full with the androids even if they hadn't heard about them in a while.

"What do you want? Unless you have food, I'm not interested. Bulma's withholding food and I'm getting something to eat myself."

"Oh I've got food."

"Well hand it over then, clown!"

Goku handed it over alright. He gave him a knuckle sandwich, sending the older saiyan flying backwards. "I hope you liked that knuckle sandwich! That's for putting your hands on my wife!"

"She deserved it after she hit me with a flying pan!" Vegeta and Goku then began fighting. "You're lucky I didn't want to waste the energy on the pathetic..."

"You're the one whose pathetic!" He delivered a swift but powerful kick to Vegeta's stomach knocking the air out of him. "Don't put your hands on my wife! No wonder you don't have any friends if you put your hands on people's loved ones! Then again you're the same guy who doesn't care about anyone for himself! You didn't even try bringing back Raditz and you straight up killed that bald guy Nappa! You don't even care about your own dad! I'm surprised Bulma left a nice guy like Yamcha for a mean-sprited punk!"

With that, Goku flew off. Once Vegeta caught his breath, he cursed himself for letting Goku get away with that. One of these days he would show that bumbling fool. He hunted down a deer and munched on it. As he did so, he thought of what he could do to get back at the fool. He couldn't beat him up over it since Goku was stronger than him. He didn't want to sink down to Goku's level to pull pranks. What could he do? Then he thought about what he said earlier. The saiyan was always mentioning friendship and then that part about him betraying Raditz and Nappa...that's it! That's how he would get back at the man! He'd just prove to him how great of a friend he could be and even more so than Goku could ever be!

"If I can't beat him in battle, I'll join him so I can beat him at what I'm joining him at!" He smirked as he took a bite of his deer meat. "Wait, is that the right saying? Who cares! I'll just gather the dragon balls and wish those two fools back to life!"

Sure the two would be mad at the prince for both taking so long to wish them back and for the crap he pulled in the past, but Vegeta could keep them in check. They had been dead for years and in that time, Vegeta was more than sure he was much stronger than the two of them combined. Surely the two morons knew better than to attack him. Then again neither had tried before. However given how Vegeta had up and killed Nappa for failing to kill Goku and hadn't even tried bringing back Raditz, he wouldn't doubt it if the two of the tried out of anger. The two would regret it if they did so. He headed back to his place and instantly searched for the Dragon ball locator. He made a mess going through Bulma's lab and their bedroom, but he didn't care. Let her or her mother clean it up. When he finally found it, he took off to go search for the balls. Hopefully nobody needed the balls anytime this year but he didn't even think about that at the moment. He was too busy thinking of how he was going to train the two men into working with him to become better friends than that idiot and his pal.


	4. Chapter 4

Once Vegeta gathered all of the dragon balls, he summoned Shenron. Hopefully nobody would show up and stop him from making his wish. Screw it if anybody needed the balls. They could wait a year! The moment Shenron appeared, he demanded the dragon bring back "those two idiots" without even thinking. Shenron merely blinked. "Well what are you waiting for?"

"You didn't specify whom 'those two idiots' are," informed the magical beast. The prince rolled his eyes.

"You're supposed to be magical! You should know."

"Just because I'm magical doesn't mean I read minds," retorted the ancient beast. "Besides, two idiots could refer to anyone you know. I could bring back your parents, but I figure they're too stupid to live since they created a short, disrespectful little imp."

Vegeta was caught off guard by the dragon's response. Since when did he of all people get snippy? Normally it was just asking what someone wanted, told them if he granted their wish, and then screwed off to where ever afterwards. To avoid conflict Vegeta said, "Very funny. I meant Nappa and Raditz."

"Then you should have said so, you friendless chimp."*

"What the heck did you just call me!?" What was this thing's problem? He didn't say anything so rude to the others. What did he ever do to him?

"Your wish has been granted," said Shenron. "I hope they got stronger in HFIL and bet the stuffing outta you."

"Screw you, you stupid lizard!" He screamed at the sky as he shook a fist at the dragon as he disappeared back into the clouds. Vegeta could sense the two saiyans a ways away from him and quickly headed over to them. While he flew over there, he made mental note to ask Bulma about Shenron's attitude. He was curious to if the dragon ever did such a thing with them before.

Down below he spotted Nappa and Raditz being amazed over the fact that they were wished back to life. He overheard Raditz questioning who wished them back to life. He decided to stick around to hear what they were going to say about him so he could whoop their behinds over it.

"It had to be Vegeta, duh" said Nappa rolling his eyes. Who else could it be after all? He highly doubted it was Raditz's little brother. Then again, Raditz was right in wondering who the heck wished them back. After all the prince wasn't planning on wishing back Raditz and he was killed by the jerk's hand. What on earth could the prince be doing bringing them back to life?

"After all these years?!" He exclaimed. "I bet it was someone else. Why would he bring us back after he killed you and he doesn't even like me."

"Do you think it was someone we know?"

"Possibly," Both tried their best to think of someone else but could come up with no one else. Frieza wouldn't waste his time on the two of them and they doubted someone of their race that knew both of them wished them back. Then Nappa came up with an idea.

"Maybe our race got wished back to life!" He suggested.

"Eh maybe..."

"I'm the one who wished you back, you ignorant buffoons!" boomed the voice of Vegeta as he revealed himself to the two men. "Who else would wish you two morons back? Kakarot?"

"Vegeta!"

"No duh and it's Prince Vegeta to both of you!" said Vegeta.

"But why...?" began the long haired saiyan.

"Because I need the two of you to do what I say. To make a long story short, I need revenge on Kakarot in the only way that'll hurt him." Okay so that wasn't the whole truth. If either of these clowns found out that the younger man was stronger than him, they would refuse to take the prince seriously. He could crack their skulls but that wouldn't get him anywhere.

"Get revenge yourself, jerk!" snapped Raditz. Nappa looked over to him as if he was crazy. Normally the two of them would secretly complain about the older man to themselves. Then again Raditz would grumble about the prince only for Nappa to quickly tell him off for doing so. Neither were stupid enough to actually talk back to the shorter man. Raditz must have lost his mind while he was dead.

"Excuse me?" Vegeta glared at the older man.

"You heard me, you spiky haired punk!" He didn't care what Vegeta said or did. The punk had some nerve wishing them back just to boss them around. Whatever it was he needed done should be done by himself! "I'm not doing crap!"

"You'll do as I say," He said as he walked up to the man and gave him a hard poke on the chest that nearly knocked him over. "Last time I checked, you've been dead for years and I've been alive during that time and training. I'm much stronger than both of you combined."

"Moron..." mumbled Nappa rolling his eyes at Raditz's stupidity.

"You'll do as I say when I say it. Do anything I don't like and I'll send you back to where I got you turds from!"

Raditz began to open his mouth but Nappa elbowed him and spoke for him. "Of course, Prince Vegeta."

Raditz grumbled but agreed as well. It wasn't enough for the prince, but he'd take what he could get. If either were trouble, he'd just deal with them. "Good. Now follow me and I dare either of you imbeciles to do anything!"

"You hear that, Raditz?" Nappa narrowed his eyes at the younger man.

"I heard!" He frowned. While they flew next to the prince, Raditz wanted to beat the crap out of him despite knowing the man could probably knock him out with his pinky toe. He was surprised Nappa hadn't said anything about Vegeta betraying him. Then again he did spend majority of his time trying to please the prince. He was probably still angry but he didn't want to be on the prince's bad side again. Maybe he should be trying to please the prince as well. After all the prince was powerful and this was his opportunity to get back at his younger brother. He wondered what the shorter male had planned as they neared a city and presumably Vegeta's home.

* * *

*Originally it was chump but I figured chimp would be a better insult.


	5. Chapter 5

Bulma was in the middle of vacuuming when she heard her husband coming home from where ever he was. She scowled as she cut off the machine. There was that jerk! She was going to give him a good talking to after what she heard he had done to Chichi and the fact that he dared to show his face around the house. She placed the vacuum inside of the closet and made her way to the front room.

"Oh so you're finally showing your ugly mug around the house, you son of a...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Bulma screamed as soon as she saw the last two people she expected. Behind her husband were the two saiyans Nappa and Raditz who were looking as if she were crazy as she took off running.

"Why is your maid screaming?" said Nappa. "Heh. I bet she remembers when we first got here."

"I remember her! That's the woman that was with Kakarot and his little friends. I'm surprised she took the job under Vegeta. Must have needed the money."

"She's sort of my maid, yes, yes, and no. She's here because she wants me," said Vegeta in a matter of fact voice. Bulma would become angry if he heard her call her a maid, but she kind of was. She did clean up after him so she may as well be. "Now follow me. I'll show you two where you're staying."

He showed them to the guest rooms down the hall from his room. Both men were far from impressed from the small beds compared to what they were normally used to. Saiyan homes usually had large rooms with equally large beds for saiyans to sleep in. They were even larger for married couples. They were also able to handle a lot more judging by the way Nappa's bed broke when he put all of his weight on it.

"Good job, Lardo!" Vegeta rolled his eyes. Now he would have to hear Bulma's mouth about this. Then again he could always go to Mrs. Briefs. She wouldn't care and just get it replaced. Maybe he should have married her instead. She was a lot more pleasant to be around than her daughter.

"My apologizes, Vegeta," said Nappa as he quickly got off the bed. "I guess I put on a few more pounds in HFIL."

"How?" Raditz frowning. "The food there is awful. Besides you were dead. Why would you eat?"

"Who cares," Vegeta said waving his hand in dismissal. "I'll get the woman's mother to replace the beds. This miserable planet doesn't seem to have the technology to hold up larger people automatically. You'll just sleep on the floor for now. I guess I should show you two around."

Vegeta then proceeded to show the men around the house, making sure to tell them what was off limits and what they could touch and where they could go. While showing them the living room, they ran into Future Trunks snacking on some potato chips. "Hello, father. Have you seen...?"

"Go find it yourself, boy! I've got better things to do than help you after  ** _you_  **lost whatever it is."

"You don't even know what it is!" pointed out the younger man.

"Fine, what is it then?"

"The TV remote. Grandma said you had it last."

"Oh right I did. I hid it so your mother wouldn't find it. It's underneath the turtle shaped rock in the park."

"That's awfully childish." He rolled his eyes and left.

"Who was that?" asked Nappa as Trunks walked off mumbling to himself.

"My son from the future." Vegeta left it like that and told them to come on. This left plenty of questions and you'd be right in thinking they'd ask about him, but the prince didn't answer squat. He was just trying to hurry up this stupid tour so he could tell them what to do. Luckily the last spot was coming up really soon.

"This is the gravity room," He said as he pointed to the well room. "Go in there with my permission and I'll beat you back to HFIL! Got it?"

"Sure," Raditz crossed his arms. "Now what's this revenge we're getting on Kakarot?"

"Oh it's a good one!" Vegeta gave them a devious smile. The prince instructed them to follow him into his bedroom where the tools they'd be using were. Little did they know that it wasn't the type of revenge the two had in mind.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hurry up you two!" shouted Vegeta from outside the bathroom door. The shorter male was impatiently waiting for the two men to hurry up from changing into their new clothes. They weren't changing fast enough for him. What were those idiots doing in there?

Eventually Nappa came out sporting a rather interesting t-shirt on his bulky body. It was a white shirt with Vegeta's chibi head on it with a grin. It read "The Greatest Guy Ever!" in bold red letters. He looked rather indifferent about it while on the inside he felt like the definition of irony. Raditz meanwhile was fighting the urge to rip it up. He was much too big to fit through the window to escape wearing the stupid t-shirt. He hated that bastard Vegeta and this shirt just added onto that hate. What was he up to asking for them to wear this? This seemed like something the "Super Gay Force" would wear.

"Come on slow poke!" yelled the prince as he knocked on the door.

"Fine!" Raditz came out sporting the same shirt. "What's even the purpose of us wearing this? How will this even...?"

He received a gentle slap to the face. At least it was gentle according to Vegeta so it still hurt like crazy and left a red hand print on the older man's face. "What have I said about questioning me, Raditz? Surely you haven't forgotten after all these years! Or do you need it beat into your stupid head?"

Raditz glared at him but said nothing as he rubbed his sore cheek. "Good now come on. Kakarot not expecting us and I want to catch him before he gets away from us."

"Right!" grinned Nappa as he slammed his fist into his hand. "I say we rough him up a bit and then humiliate him!"

"In due time," assured the shorter man. "Follow me."

The three headed off until they arrived at the Son household. Nappa and Raditz were itching to beat up Goku on the spot but both knew they couldn't. If he was anything like Vegeta, he'd gotten a lot stronger. Vegeta pounded on the door and waited for an answer. Instead of it being Goku, it was Chichi instead. Good that's who he wanted anyways. He could smell the scent of stu brewing and it seemed to be about done cooking. That meant at any time her husband would be home to see the destruction of his place.

"It's you again!" she scowled as she ignored the men behind her. "I can't believe you dare to show your ugly mug here again after you slapped me!"

"Oh I dare because I have the authority to!" argued Vegeta. Chichi scoffed at this but was ignored. "You dared to lay hands on your prince and had to pay the price! You're lucky I didn't beat you to death!"

"Oh really! Just wait until Goku comes home so he can..."

"...get yet another beating from his prince!" the prince said rather quickly. Chichi burst out laughing causing Vegeta to smack her across the face. He couldn't let it slip he wasn't really over anybody he implied and said he was. He was keeping this lie going for as long as he possibly could. "Now move woman. You know what happens when you anger your prince!"

As she attempted to talk smack back at the man, she got shoved to the side. Vegeta then ordered his men to wreck the place. "Try not to blow anything up. Just rough it up a bit."

Raditz and Nappa didn't even hesitate to do so. As they began trashing Chichi's home, she got off the floor and flew into a nasty rage. Normally this was something to fear as this usually meant a repeated frying pan to the head and fists flew from time to time. However she was dealing with people that had no problem laying hands on her. She didn't know that though at least when it came to her unknown to her brother-in-law and Nappa. She grabbed her trusty frying pan and hit her first target with all the strength she had in her body. It did nothing and only caused her target to turn to face her and give her an evil smirk. While Chichi glared at him, not even the slightest bit terrified at the site of the large man looming over her. After all her father was much bigger so his size didn't scare her in the slightest. However that smirk was a bit discouraging and nearly made her back off. She had to defend herself even if Vegeta was here. He wouldn't let them kill her...would he?

Nappa placed a single hand around her neck and picked her up. Chichi struggle and attempted to kick him while scratching his arm. She was struggling to get free and was starting to find it harder to breath. Luckily Vegeta ordered him to let her go and she dropped like a sack of potatoes. She gasped for air and massaged her throat.

"Damn it, Nappa, don't kill the fool!" said Vegeta as he looked down at the woman. If he killed Chichi, G oku would come after both of them. "She's the one that makes the cookies!"

It was a lot better than saying Goku would kill them both thus embarrassing the prince. It was already bad enough they were tearing up the place and Nappa choked Chichi. Then it got worse when they heard the front door open followed by Gohan's voice. "Mom! I'm home from...what the heck's happened here?!"

"Chichi!" yelled the Ox King. "Chichi, are you okay?"

"Quick get out!"

"But..." Nappa began but Vegeta pushed him towards the back door.

"Drop that vase and..." Raditz dropped the vase on the floor. "Whatever! Come on!"

After they took off, Raditz spoke up. "What did that accomplish?"

"More than you think it did!" the prince smirked at the man. "Now then, on to our next course of action."

'Please don't involve more stupid shirts praising this moron!' hoped Raditz. He didn't even see the need for this dumb shirt they were wearing other than rubbing in the fact that they were doomed to service the jerk! Whatever was next he just hoped it was a lot more fun than just trashing someone's home and then running away afterwards.


End file.
